I will mention one incident, on the street rather than the Overground, but it made a strong impression on me.
On 17th March 2020, I decided to return to Japan the following day due to the rapid spread of COVID-19 in London. I went to a supermarket near New Cross Gate station to buy a box of Yorkshire tea as a small gift for my family. Near the entrance, many people were walking by with bags full of food. A homeless man sat nearby on the pavement, half in a blue sleeping bag, asking everyone who passed for change. I could hear he said, ‘Change, please’ to me, but my mind was too full to stop walking for him. Inside the shop, I saw empty shelves, with no toilet paper, pasta or even fresh fruit or vegetables. I had never expected I would feel this frightened in such a familiar place as a supermarket. I saw the tea and coffee section and the Yorkshire tea was sold out; I bought a box of a different tea instead and left. I could see people around me might feel the same anxiety and walked back towards New Cross Gate in a depressed mood. I did not want to leave London because I had made considerable efforts to study here and spent all my savings, but staying here without family was just too harsh for me and I was emotionally exhausted. I saw the homeless man again. He was sitting in the same spot and asking a female pedestrian for change. I could hear the lady reply, ‘Sorry, man’. I was thinking about getting change out of my wallet but I could not stop in front of him. I was afraid of catching the virus, and my mind was overwhelmed with worries. A voice inside me asked, ‘You have family in your country and are going back there. Do you think you are entitled to refuse this man help? I know you are worried about your research. You use homeless people like him for your study, don’t you?’ I stood near a bush in the car park behind him, opened my wallet and took out coins. I looked back at him. Tears fell from my eyes; I could not say why. There were so many reasons: I was intimidated and felt miserable because I was powerless and leaving here. I could not come close to him. Instead, I entered a nearby shop; I wanted to think in a warm place before leaving. I saw him through the window and he looked very far away. I looked around and noticed the baby clothes. I was looking forward to seeing my nephew for the first time, and these small clothes were cute enough to make me smile; imagining my nephew in those clothes made me forget my worries for a minute. I bought one set of baby clothes and felt happy with my gift for my sister and nephew. When I went out of the shop, I saw the homeless man talking to someone else. I felt no connection to him, and left. I felt hypocritical whether I gave him small change or not. I missed my family more than ever and could not manage any more worry at that time. This experience hurts me.
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